We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at stars.

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Actors: Prologue
Title: Actors
Author: borborygmus5000
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
Rating: R
Length: Chaptered
Genre: Angst, drama, AU, romance
Summary: Yunho has always been Jaejoong's favourite actor, even from the time he was merely a struggling rookie with bit parts in indie projects. Jaejoong is the most important actor in Yunho's life, and the main motivation for him to make his mark in a dirty industry. Sponsorship is the unspoken dirty word, an open secret, yet not so open to some. Jaejoong and Yunho find themselves hanging precariously off the precipice, grabbing desperately at any remnants of their love, lest they plunge into the dark world of sponsorship.
Disclaimer: This is fiction. Pure fiction. The plot, characterization, everything down to each smidgen in the writing (unless otherwise credited), is a product of my imagination. I stake no claim whatsoever over the people mentioned herein.

His heart is throbbing painfully as he stares lifelessly at his phone, willing it to ring to life, willing a certain number to flash across the screen.

His mobile remaines stubbornly still and quiet.

He howls in anger and tosses the phone somewhere on the glass table before him. It lands with a pathetic, robotic clang.

He’s waited for hours. For days. And yet…

He hasn’t returned his call.

He hasn’t returned any of his calls since he called for a break.

They had an understanding. Regardless of how busy they were, or how mad they were at each other, they would always return a call at the earliest instance. “It’s my lover’s privilege,” the beautiful man had promised when they had both stated their terms at the start.

Yunho laughs bitterly. It seems such a privilege ceases when they are on a break.

He continues chugging down soju bombs, his recent painful realization gnawing him from inside-out, adding to his list of lost boyfriend privileges, his growing list of losses.

It burns.

His insides are burning.

He feels the intense burn in his throat, his oesophagus, his stomach as he continues to imbibe the transparent liquid fire.

But none of it compares to the burn in his heart.

The heart-wringing burn of love lost.

A cheerful jingle sounds, the happy tune mocking his dark mood as his phone screen lights up intermittently with each ring, the piece of plastic vibrating amongst green soju bottles haphazardly strewn all over his coffee table.

His feels sluggish, his mind completely lost in an alcohol-induced haze, but his heart desperately fights against the inertia as he rummages through the mess.

He finds it – oh thank god – and swipes at it hurriedly when he sees it’s him but he doesn’t hear his voice. The airy voice he’s dying to hear, the voice he misses so damn much.

He hears a sigh, and he’s so grateful to even hear anything from him again, so so grateful, that he breaks down and sobs loudly. On any other day, his bawling would have elicited tender kisses, comforting caresses, and mild teasing at how unmanly he was.

But tonight, just for once, he wants him to hear how pathetic and desperate he is, wants him to come back, wants him to know that his success will mean nothing without him.

He hears another heavy sigh on the phone before the breathy voice starts.

“I’ve made up my mind. Let’s meet to talk at 7 in the morning.”

He wipes his face and sucks his mucus up hurriedly and gathers himself to reply. “O-ok.” He croaks haltingly, pitifully, and the phone call ends abruptly, with nary a query of concern.

His stomach lurches, his heart constricting with fear. And he feels, no he knows, that it’s all slowly slipping away from him.

His love.

Four years later, the tall statuesque actor gazes pensively at the panoramic view from his luxurious penthouse. His lover would have squealed in delight at the floor-to-ceiling glass façade of the living room, and the spacious balcony adjoined to the master bedroom.

As he swirls the brown liquid in the glass held in his hand, he contemplates the different routes he could have taken in life. Had he not seen the meteoric rise to A-list stardom after a string of successful movies, he would not have even come close to enjoying the luxuries he could now summon with a simple snap of his finger, or a mere flashing of his platinum AMEX card. Or even better still, a mere show of his face.

And yet, as he tossed and turned in bed each night, sometimes alone, sometimes with company, he couldn’t control the overwhelming sense of emptiness he felt.

If he hadn’t hankered after the prestige being a top-tier celebrity held, maybe...

“Yunho-shii,” a cautious voice slices through the silence of the huge room. Yunho frowns at having his thoughts interrupted by the podgy man reflected in his glass window. He keeps his back turned away but tilts his head slightly, signaling for the man to go ahead and explain his presence on the only day he had off for the month. Everyone had been drilled with his “no-disturbance” policy on such rare days off; he had fired enough staff to prove his point.

Sensing the quiet waves of anger emanating from the strong presence before him, the man shifts his weight uncertainly between either foot, calculating how to break the news. He decides that straightforward is the way to go where the impatient man is concerned. He gulps-

“They’ve found him.”

A/N: OK here's something new. I'm just testing waters to see if there's interest. If I do proceed, it will probably be chaptered, but definitely shorter than Penance, and at most ten chapters in length. Or it may well turn out to be an actors! verse of sorts, but that's really too premature to say. No promises here since completing Penance is my top priority. Those who read Penance, do not worry, writing will resume by the end of next week. Also, I was thinking that this would be perfect with some graphics, but my resources are scant, so I shall not venture there for now. Thoughts?

I'm intrigued!!!! :D

Can't wait for more~

Thanks for reading, more soon (:

4 years passed!!
my poor yunjae!!!
i'll be waiting too~

Yeah poor them, they've both had their own lot to deal with.

Thanks for reading!

Sounds good, looking forward to more. I do however get the feeling we might not be liking Yunho quite so much (then again, I could be wrong)! BTW your new pic is very pretty:)

Yay, am glad you've taken to the prologue. Haha yes, I think you could be wrong, but I shall not give any spoilers for now. FYI, the lady in my pic is my favourite fashion icon, Taylor Tomasi Hill. She's absolutely gorgeous as a redhead; it's like light is always bouncing off her.

Thanks for checking this new fic out (:

aaaaaaaaahhhhh >_<
I bet he is looking for his love >_<
never give up yunnie for jaejae :D

Ditto that.

Thanks for reading (:

I've never been so relieved to read three simple words:

"Four years later"

It could have been "four years earlier" (and how tediously long would that take?)

Sorry, sorry – still a bit snarly before my Monday morning coffee kicks in.


I see what you did there! I did regret starting Penance seven years earlier, but rookie writers can afford some mistakes. And this is where I'm smiling sheepishly, but rather unapologetically.

To relieve you of any tedium, let's just say that the past will be over and done with by the first chapter (if there's even going to be one in the first place).

I hope your morning coffee has kicked in by the time you read this...

Oh I like this already!!

Remind me of sponsorship in jackal minus the plot.. I miss penance already.. Update soon ne.. Look fwd to end nx wk..

Now that you've mentioned, yeah I vaguely remember the sponsorship thread in Jackal, although I'd like to pretend that the movie doesn't exist.

I miss writing Penance too, but I definitely don't want to rush chapter 11b out because that wouldn't do the plot justice.

More soon, I promise (:

this is intriguing :D i think you have a penchant for cliffhangers....please continue? ^^

and why don't you like Jackal it was hilarious xD

Hey there (:

Only the parts with Jihyo and Jaejoong were hilarious because they had terrific chemistry and they fed off each other's energies. However, I couldn't help but feel cheated at the end of it all because of the lengthy, poorly directed shenanigans between the two cops that I had to endure. Jihyo and Jaejoong were touted as the mains but they didn't have as much screen time as the cops and annoying receptionist. The BDSM scene with the cop was so so cringe-worthy.

I must say though Jaejoong's peeing scene will forever be a classic!

Disculpa que lo haga en español, deberia estar en clases pero no pude evitar quedarme y leerlo xD.
ES GENIAL!!!!!!me gusta me gusta!!!! ;D esperare con ansias el primer capitulo!

Oh dear, I don't understand a single word of Spanish... help me out here?

...OK google translate did it, and it was in perfectly grammatical English. Thanks for the interest (:

Edited at 2013-04-08 03:43 pm (UTC)

oh deer. don't even bother testing the waters. just jump into it. i'm already swimming in it. come, come! oh creys. i thought it was really good. and man. just the prologue, and the rating has been revealed. haha. okay. but oh, it was really good. :O

Oh dang. I didn't mean to reveal the rating this early on, but I guess with sponsorship being a huge part of the plot, I can't really avoid such a rating.

Thanks for reading (:

Huhuhu you write a new story.

This definitely has my vote. Please do continue. There isn't much going on yet so I don't know what to comment. Will be sure to do a better job at reviewing next time. T_T.

My dear, please don't feel obliged to comment if you don't know what to say. I don't want anyone to feel pressured about commenting coz reading fic is supposed to be fun.

That said, thanks for the vote! I'll see what I can do with it after my exams (:

this sounds so interesting, but i really hope jj is a whore

O.O why do you hope for JJ to be a whore?

Quite interesting prologue!

Sounds promising so I'm looking forward to it^^

Oh my god....you started a new fanfic and here I am, in Prague, waiting for you to update "Penance". Yes, you heard it right...I am in Prague now and will be here for a week before heading back. While transiting at Paris, I went around looking for wifi to see if you update. Finally saw the update now but boo hoo hoo, it is not "Penance". How could you??????? I missed your weekly update badly...... I actually woke up at 6am to check!!!!!!

Now, let's talk about "Actors". Promising start and it arouse my curiosity. I wonder what happened between them. What drove them apart???? Sigh...so many questions...YES, YES, YES please continue. BUT don't neglect Penance.

Re: How Could You Again?

Oh my god I LOVE PRAGUE; It's so beautiful and quaint. Have some of the best memories there from a few summers back. And PARIS!I'm heading there after exams, one of the few things to look forward to at this point in time, grrr.

I totally saw your reaction coming, the author's note at the end of this post was meant for Penance readers like yourself! Which is also why I had to post my notice of hiatus in flaming red letters. Oh dear 6am? Not a good sleeping pattern...

I did give a hint - Yunho's acting career. And yes, I won't neglect Penance! As always, thanks for reading (:


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